As I head deeper down the rabbit hole exploring my feminine I find myself FEELING more....
Many times I find myself in the gym just not FEELING what is written in my program. The two don't align and I spent a lot of my adult life ignoring or suppressing my true emotions. A way of being that I demanded of myself in order to be successful (in the linear, logical, right brained way).
I have to remind myself, with tenderness, it's totally okay to go by how I feel. I don't to need to slip into anxiousness about how I should feel, or guilt about the pint of salted caramel ice cream I smashed last night or fear that I will somehow "lose" my fitness. Those are all stories created from the ego trying to protect my sense of self. My fragile identity.
But I am so much more expansive than a single, limiting identity and I am committed to developing a true relationship with my body where I listen to what is beneath the ego's noise.
After watching an excellent video by Paul Chek, I was inspired. Paul, an advocate of working out as well as working in, speaks to how the gym is a place to get clear on who you are- only if you can use it intelligently.
If you head to the gym and look around you don't see a lot of mindfulness or intelligence these days. You see many ego's hard at work buttressing up identities. Lean, athletic, hardcore, strong as fuck, badass, relentless, unstoppable. All identities that are sold as the ideal. The only way to achieve success. This is largely in part messaging from the fitness industry, but also many people just starting out on their fitness journey. Good on em'! They just don't know any better. This is what Paul calls the "gym disease." The, "I am not good enough so I will be hard on myself when I don't measure up to my internalized standards of what is good enough."
Do you see the thinking mind taking over?
So before you jump in on some insane workout a gym buddy has sent you over IG, let's pull back the veil to understand how we can approach exercise in a spiritually mature way.
Scenario: You get to the gym and you are not feeling inspired. You want to be there and you don't want to be there. You are struggling to figure out what to do and begin to feel anxious; because you gotta do something!
1) Go off into your own corner to do some belly breathing.
-close your eyes
-taking a few minutes to breath to create space or separation from the monkey mind allows you to get clear on what your body is telling you.
2) Feel your body with a body scan.
-start at your head. Scan down through your eyes, face, neck, shoulders, belly...all the way to your feet. I like to think about feeling my body from the inside out.
-Be with your body, be with yourself.
3) Ask yourself, "What would feel good?"
-a good sweat? Lifting something heavy? Smashing some equipment around? Stretching? Connecting with friends then going home?
-listen to the first answer that pops into your head.
4) Play without a plan.
-Look around the gym to find a piece of equipment that piques your curiosity.
-pick it up and move with it. However you want to without judgement form yourself or others.
After some good play you will find yourself inspired to move in a way that speaks to your body to make it feel good- originally why you started fitness in the first place. It could be what is written in your program or not. What is cool about this practice is that it empowers you to listen to your body and take responsibility for your body. We have become so disconnected from ourselves through "have-to's" and "shoulds." We end up making ourselves miserable.
This journey is all about coming home to ourselves. Reconnecting to our truth. Let's start approaching our fitness in a way we can grow, improvise, learn and adapt so that it spills over to the rest of our life!
In the words of Paul Chek, "exercise can be a lifetime form of medicine."
Until next time,
The Psychedelic Gypsy Queen